The Art and the POWER of Listening

I know you know a lot of stuff. And I also know you want to talk about it because you want to share it, since it’s such good stuff. You might even be the one who does that stuff best. But most people want to be KNOWN. They don’t want to hear your stuff until they tell you who they are and what they need. They’re hoping that once you KNOW them, you’ll only tell them about the stuff that pertains just to them. Nothing is more impressive than a really good listener.

Don’t you love it when someone gives you their full attention? If someone is listening deeply, you feel their total engagement. You feel known.

So when you meet someone for the first time, or the second or even the fifth, LISTEN to them. Give them your FULL attention. There’s no telling what you might hear for the very first time. Focus on THEM and you’ll win their respect and their appreciation. They’re so tired of hearing about others and really just wanted to have you know them better.

Do it. You’ll be amazed at how much you might gain by listening.

I’m Not Me Anymore

So a long-term client or customer ends their relationship with because they’re selling their business. Or you’ve been let go from a long-term job you love. You feel like you lost a part of your identity. The things you’ve been doing for years are about to change – drastically. You almost don’t know how to act. You title as Director of or VP for is gone. Or a major mount of revenue is drying up.

You feel like less of yourself. Your confidence is shaken. Well what you need to remember is that you are still YOU. ALL of your accomplishments are still yours. You can take all that experience and knowledge forward and use it to your advantage. The next gig will be even better because you learned from your mistakes. You already know how to do this. So assemble your knowledge, skills, and ability and go do it even better. Be proud of what you’ve done and your confidence will show.

What is a Promise?

When you make a promise to someone else, do you usually keep it? I promise I’ll call you if I’m going to be late. (Done!) I promise to get that document to you. (Done!) I’ll bring the wine.(Done!)

You would probably rate yourself at least a 9.5 on the promise scale. So what happens when you make a promise to yourself? Today I’m going to start a diet. (Mid-afternoon, you grab a cookie). I’m going to spend the day Wednesday clearing my desk. (It’s so beautiful out I think I’ll take the dog for a walk instead.) At dinner I’ll skip dessert. (I LOVE profiteroles!)

We are the most important people in our lives. So why are we better at the promises we make to others?

Next time you make a promise to yourself, keep it. Then you can rate yourself 10+ on the promise scale and you’ll really appreciate yourself.

But…

People around me listen to what I say and then they repeat it as if it’s a good thought. THEN, they say “but..” For example, I know I should be more assertive with my staff, BUT. Oh my goodness, they just negated what they first said with that powerful BUT. That coat is very reasonably priced, BUT. I guess that means they’re not going to get it. That woman is always late for my meeting, BUT… I guess that means she’s always going to be late because you’re not going to do anything to stop her.

I hear this all the time. That huge big BUT canceling everything you just said.

Why do we say it? It’s certainly not the best case scenario. Maybe if we changed the BUT to AND, we’d get to the goal sooner. Or maybe we’ll deal with what we’re not doing. Maybe by changing the BUT to AND, we’ll exude a more positive attitude and get on a roll to get it done.

Hey, let’s monitor our BUTs and get things done. You can do it.

The Power of Words

I really love words. They can cheer people up. Make them think. Clarify. Seduce. But the right words can make a difference. I know you know the right words that can inspire people to respond the way you need them to. We are inspired by our leaders who speak words that stay with us for decades. Here’s a short video that shows the power of the words.